come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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