Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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