Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize