It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
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we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
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I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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