Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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