I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
