I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
