just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I cut my penus on the lid.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
