Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
