I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
