In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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