You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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