We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
