you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
