You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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