I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
