last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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