I just pynch a tree in the face
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize