I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
