We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
