Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
