We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
