there was a trapeze. enough said
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
