I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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