let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
