Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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