It's just like the Real World with babies
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
