HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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