My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
