People in love make me want to vomit
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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