when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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