Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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