last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
