I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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