what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
