Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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