careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
