God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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