let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
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I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
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apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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