you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
