Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
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Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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