The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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