Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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