she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
