dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
