Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
