i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
