Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
