i just wanna soil my oats bro
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
