mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
