peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
false alarm, still single
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