woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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