This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i already hear my dad disowning me
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
