i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
