i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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