Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
