That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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