And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
